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[Druxy]

Somebody just sent me this, and I couldn't stop laughing:


In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.  The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet.  It's funny, as well as informative:


Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people re garding God's Law.  I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can.  When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination ... End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations.  A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians.  Can you clarify?  Why can't I own Canadians?
 
2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7.  In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
 
3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of Menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24.  The problem is how do I tell?  I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
 
4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9.  The problem is my neighbors.  They claim the odor is not pleasing to them.  Should I smite them?
 
5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath.  Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death.  Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?
 
6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality.  I don't agree.  Can you settle this?  Are there 'degrees' of abomination?
 
7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight.  I have to admit that I wear reading glasses.  Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?
 
8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27.  How should they die?
 
9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
 
10. My uncle has a farm.  He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend).  He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot.  Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16.  Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
 
I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I'm confident you can help.
 
Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
 
Your adoring fan.
 
James M. Kauffman, Ed.D. Professor Emeritus, Dept. Of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education University of Virginia
 
(It would be a damn shame if we couldn't own a Canadian

[Ron Pulliam]

TOD:   I, too, love songs by the Beatles.  If one considers the Beatles as a military unit like the Marine Corps, then "once a Beatle, always a Beatle."

To that end, my favorite Beatles song (from John Lennon) is "Imagine":

Imagine there's no Heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one

[bk]

Are you sure the dog wasn't John Esche having a fit over the PROMISES PROMISES pitch adjustments?

Good morning, all! This is my first NYU Dental Clinic morning as a registered patient. They will examine my oral surgery and - here's the scary part - check out a lesion on my tongue. There may be a biopsy and I may be in terrible pain again today. We'll see.

I have no other news. I have a trip to the Post office to send some music to a copyist and I have work here on both the Herbert recording project and THE LADY OF THE SLIPPER and BABES IN TOYLAND. At some point I want to get back to watching Season Two of ELI STONE. Watching THE CLOSER last night makes me want to see all of the last season again.

Considering the reaction to the new mix and the pitch-correction, I'd say that I don't really care what John Esche thinks.  The fact that he would think anything about it, considering we included the original LP mix for the first time on CD, is what makes him such a jerk.  He doesn't even have to listen to the pitch-corrected version.  And funny, he never bitched about the Ryko/Varese release, which wasn't the original LP mix.

[bk]

I'm up, I've answered e-mails, the skies are blue, and if I can get out of here by ten, I'll do a two-mile jog.

[Druxy]

Just listened to PROMISES (2)

Great job!

[bk]

Just listened to PROMISES (2)

Great job!

Not according to John Esche - according to John Esche I'm a bad, bad boy for doing such a horrible thing as pitch-correction on a voice occasionally more than a half-tone flat.  Of course, the big amusement is that John Esche hasn't actually heard either CD.

[Ron Pulliam]

Good morning, all! This is my first NYU Dental Clinic morning as a registered patient. They will examine my oral surgery and - here's the scary part - check out a lesion on my tongue. There may be a biopsy and I may be in terrible pain again today. We'll see.

My goodness, Larry!   

[Dan (the Man)]

Strictly, speaking, DR Ron, "Imagine" is a John Lennon song, not a Beatle song.

Seeing the video clips of Ringo Starr at his Times Square birthday party last week, I would have to say that the guy looks damn good for 70.

[Dan (the Man)]

George Steinbrenner has died.

[elmore3003]

This has been a day or errors and it disorients me when I screw ip my schedule because I'm an idiot. The humidity has gone sky high and we're having some rain, so I didn't get to the NYPL, only to Barnes & Noble. My B&N friend Val and I are planning to see THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT tomorrow night, so I at least have tomorrow's schedule in order: McGlinnventory, NYPL, pharmacy, movie.

I'm still laughing over the letter to that kosher pig Dr Laura.

[Jennifer]

re: what age kids learn to read in school.

I asked my sister if she thought my niece was going to learn how to read in kindergarten and she said she didn't think so. Plus my niece will be going to an English school. But she'll be in a french kindergarten (where all the kids are English).

I think my niece could learn to read now. But i'm afraid she would just memorize the words.  She did seem quite proud of herself a couple of days ago when she "read" me her Clifford book. I think she was sounding out some of the words. But there are only a few words per page.

The funny thing is when she was 2 (or maybe 3) she had these Eloise books. And she would memorize the entire books. And then she would "read" them to people.

[Jennifer]

Dog lovers here will probably not be disgusted by this. But a couple of days ago I was at the park where the bike path I ride on is.

There was this guy walking his dog. It was a little bit hot out. But not like the heat wave we had last week.  Anyhow there was an outdoor water fountain. And this guy let his dog put his mouth in the fountain and slobber/drink out of it.  Now just thinking of all the little kids who slobber out of that fountain ... yuck.

Anyhow there is a dish attached by a chain on that water fountain. So after the guy let his dog slobber in the fountain. He put water in the dish and let the dog drink out of it.

[Cillaliz]

Good morning!! Boo and Callie woke me up at 4:30 AM.  For some reason I got it in my head that there was a bat in the house again.  So I was AWAKE!  As it turns out, there wasn't.  I tried to get back to sleep, but soon decided that was fruitless and got up and went for a pre-sunrise walk.  It was beautiful!  It's foggy out but not too bad, and the birds were singing like crazy.  Turned out to be a great way to start the day

After the Summer of Bats I experienced two years ago, I am still bat-paranoid at nights, too.  If I'm laying in bed and hear even a whisper of what sounds like a flutter, my heart begins to pound and I'm ready to reach for the tennis racquet I keep under the bed.  Yes, it has been two years since the last invasion (and the horrific Twin Bats incident), but you never know when the little blood-suckers might try to come and get me again...

I have a butterfly net in the bedroom but last time the cats had killed the poor thing before I even got out of bed

[Cillaliz]

Ok, Lunch break is over. I'm really working today....it's about time!

[bk]

Back from a two-mile jog - pathetic, really, but I have to build up stamina again.

[Jennifer]

I am not a big fan of big mean dogs. But I don't like the idea of that guy smacking or cursing at the dog.

[Thom]

TOD:

Yesterday                                                Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da
Eleanor Rigby                                           The Fool on the Hill
All You Need is Love                                  Penny Lane
The Long and Winding Road                     With a Little Help from My Friends
Let It Be                                                    Lovely Rita
Something                                                 Here, There and Everywhere
Here Comes the Sun                                 Good Day Sunshine
Yellow Submarine                                      Michelle

And as DR Ron Pulliam said, "Imagine" is my favorite John Lennon song. It very much expresses my Humanist philosophy of life!

[Charles Pogue]

Dog lovers here will probably not be disgusted by this. But a couple of days ago I was at the park where the bike path I ride on is.

There was this guy walking his dog. It was a little bit hot out. But not like the heat wave we had last week.  Anyhow there was an outdoor water fountain. And this guy let his dog put his mouth in the fountain and slobber/drink out of it.  Now just thinking of all the little kids who slobber out of that fountain ... yuck.

Anyhow there is a dish attached by a chain on that water fountain. So after the guy let his dog slobber in the fountain. He put water in the dish and let the dog drink out of it.

Are we talking about a drinking fountain or a fountain fountain?  If a drinking fountain, did the guy let his dog drink out of the bowl of the fountain or let his dog slurp water off the spigot of the fountain?  If the guy let his dog drink from the bowl of the fountain which is nothing more than a receptacle for the water the mouth does not catch or drink coming from the fountain spigot, then I see no problem with this.

If the dog put his mouth or tongue on the spigot that might be unsanitary, but it would certainly be just as unsanitary for a child to drink  this way or to slobber from the bowl of the fountain...or any fountain for that matter.  I would be much more concerned about a parent who would let their child's mouth touch a fountain spigot or drink from the receiving bowl of a drinking fountain or drink from any kind of fountain in which God knows what kind of debris blows in it, has been placed in it, what other kinds of animals or birds have dabbled in it. 

A dog is the least of a parent's worry about a public fountain...after all, a dog's mouth is supposedly cleaner than a human's...

[Druxy]

Just listened to PROMISES (2)

Great job!

Not according to John Esche - according to John Esche I'm a bad, bad boy for doing such a horrible thing as pitch-correction on a voice occasionally more than a half-tone flat.  Of course, the big amusement is that John Esche hasn't actually heard either CD.

Screw John Esche!

 

[George]

Topic of the Day:  I've never been much of a Beatles fan, but I like some of what they've done...however, two songs that I just really don't like (and I don't know why) are "Michelle" and "Yesterday."  I can't listen to them.

[Dan (the Man)]

Good morning!! Boo and Callie woke me up at 4:30 AM.  For some reason I got it in my head that there was a bat in the house again.  So I was AWAKE!  As it turns out, there wasn't.  I tried to get back to sleep, but soon decided that was fruitless and got up and went for a pre-sunrise walk.  It was beautiful!  It's foggy out but not too bad, and the birds were singing like crazy.  Turned out to be a great way to start the day

After the Summer of Bats I experienced two years ago, I am still bat-paranoid at nights, too.  If I'm laying in bed and hear even a whisper of what sounds like a flutter, my heart begins to pound and I'm ready to reach for the tennis racquet I keep under the bed.  Yes, it has been two years since the last invasion (and the horrific Twin Bats incident), but you never know when the little blood-suckers might try to come and get me again...

I have a butterfly net in the bedroom but last time the cats had killed the poor thing before I even got out of bed

I tried looking for a butterfly net but at the time could not find one in any store (including Toys 'R' Us!)  I spotted one in a toy store on the boardwalk in Ocean City last year, but my friend started teasing me about it and I wound up not buying it.

Hmmm...I could have sworn that this was going to be a more interesting post when I started typing it out.  Something must have happened in Editing...

[td]

Sending thoughts and vibes to DR MBarnum, whose dear dog Bosco has left his worldly existence. 

[MBarnum]

I am sad to say that my buddy Dog Bosco passed away this morning.

He was the best dog in the world. It was my good fortune to just happen to be at the Humane Society the day Bosco was there, some 4 or 5 years ago (I forget how long it has been). He was so well mannered and quiet and sweet, I knew right then and there I was going to be a dog owner...and believe me it was not my intention on that day to get a dog...in fact it was the farthest thing from my mind as I had only gone in to donate some old blankets on my way home from the gym and just decided to walk around.

I remember the staff telling me that the night before someone had accidental left Bosco's cage door open, and when they arrived the next morning Bosco was still sitting in his own cage.

I will miss him so very much, and so will cat Freddy who followed Bosco everywhere, including our walks around the block.

And I appreciate HHW allowing me to share all the silly photos of Bosco over the years. I did love to show him off.

[MBarnum]

Thank you TD. Now if I can just stop crying.

[td]

>>>hugs<<< DR MBarnum.  I think we all here know exactly how you feel.

[Dan (the Man)]

Oh, Mike--I'm so sorry to hear about Bosco.

Don't worry about crying--it's okay.

[George]

~~~(((HUGS AND VIBES OF COMFORT FOR DR MBARNUM AND DC FREDDY!!)))~~~

 

[Laura]

I'm so sorry, MBarnum. So many of us have been there and know just what you are feeling.

[Ben]

So sorry to hear your news Barnum.

[Druxy]

I am sad to say that my buddy Dog Bosco passed away this morning.

He was the best dog in the world. It was my good fortune to just happen to be at the Humane Society the day Bosco was there, some 4 or 5 years ago (I forget how long it has been). He was so well mannered and quiet and sweet, I knew right then and there I was going to be a dog owner...and believe me it was not my intention on that day to get a dog...in fact it was the farthest thing from my mind as I had only gone in to donate some old blankets on my way home from the gym and just decided to walk around.

I remember the staff telling me that the night before someone had accidental left Bosco's cage door open, and when they arrived the next morning Bosco was still sitting in his own cage.

I will miss him so very much, and so will cat Freddy who followed Bosco everywhere, including our walks around the block.

And I appreciate HHW allowing me to share all the silly photos of Bosco over the years. I did love to show him off.

So sorry to hear that.  Sincere condolences.