As I tried to post "yesterday", but... -I can't wait to back to the East Coast and to "my normal" time zone"
As for my opinion of
Follies...
I actually get the piece. My first exposure to the show/score was through the Lincoln Center concert version - it came out right at the start of my own Sondheimania when I was in high school. I was hooked even before I had to turn the first LP over. Subsequently, I started stocking up on other recordings, and even started investigating some of the cut material. I came across a copy of the original script in a bookstore. I've seen a very good and lavish(!!) community theatre production, and I saw the not-so-good and not-so-lavish Roundabout revival/revisal. OH! And I've also seen the ootleg-bay where Yvonne DeCarlo is all over the place in her solo.
I've never thought of the four main characters as "whining". Wondering what might have been, yes. Wishing they had made different decisions, yes. Wondering if they made the right decision, yes. Wondering if there really was a right decition, yes. But, whining? No... at least IMHO.
I think the key to getting the show is remembering that the action of the show takes place over the course of one evening, a few hours spent at a reunion. Yes, there are flashbacks, and there are ghosts, but they aren't necessarily part of the "time". They serve as background, motivation, explanation. We get a glimpse into why this particular night holds so many stakes and so much "investment" for these four people at that particular time.
Just how much growth can take place in one evening anyhow? Not much. An initial change of heart, yes. A realization, yes. A confronting of a past demon, yes. Saying things that have done unsaid for years, yes. And even the seed of a glimmer of hope being planted, yes. But growth? Hmm...
Yes, the ending is ambiguous and un-tidy, but that's life. These are adults that have been through a lot, and done a lot to be where they are "today". It would take more than a few hours to bring their lives full circle. Will Ben, Sally, Buddy and Phyllis start anew come morning? Will the speak to each other once they leave the reunion? Will they mend their ways? Or will they just continue their folly? Will their be a "happy ending"?
We may not get the answers to these questions by the end of the evening, but the fact that we, the audience, are left with these questions, wondering about these questions and possible answers is part of the genius of the piece.