Is this an audience or an oil painting? I once knew a guy who was so cheap, every time he took a nickel out of his pocket, Jefferson blinked. He was so cheap, he bawled his kid out for buying an all-day sucker at three in the afternoon. Come on, folks, we're not going to get to page four this way! I keep pitching 'em, you keep missing 'em. You're built too low to the ground, the fast ones keep going over your head! I knew a guy who was so low, he could read by the light of a hot-foot. Knew a girl so ugly, they said she wasn't fit to sleep with pigs. But I stuck up for her...I said she was! Come on, folks, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at Edison, they laughed at Ford! Wonder who's writing their material? Geeze, I've seen better heads on a mug of beer! You folks are so dumb you think the Mexican Border pays rent. You're so dumb, you think Rudy Vallee lies between two hills! l Okay! Okay! Leave! I don't worry when my audience walks out on me, It's when they walk towards me that's frightening!