Here's my hilarious One of A Kind from Applause story (which probably loses a little in the translation to the printed page):
I had written and was music directing a cabaret starring Susannah Mars (whom some of you know and love) and Todd Hermanson (whom none of you probably know, but would love anyway). So I got us booked on the live morning show here in Portland to promote the thing. Well it turns out Miss Professionalism Susannah had never done a live tv spot before and was scared out of her friggin' mind. She kept moaning to Todd (who is this ultra-suave, ultra-smooth tall Nordic blond leading man type), "What if I go up? What if I blow it." And Todd, all ultra-suave and ultra-smooth, kept reassuring her that all would be fine (you may sense the *first* punchline coming already).
So's anyway our segment begins and I introduce the stars and say that we will be singing One of a Kind from Applause. And Susannah does her verse perfectly. It's Todd's turn.
Todd has absolutely NO clue what to sing, where he is, why the bright lights are shining, etc. Now the really funny thing is (and we have this on tape), the floor director kept the camera on Susannah. So as Todd is fumbling, literally humming along and saying lounge lizard things like "You, baby, you're one of a kind, y'know it, babe?", the camera is fixated on Susannah, who has this petrified Miss America smile while the terror is clearly creeping into her eyes.
I meanwhile am plugging along, thinking, should I just cadence and get them out of it? When all of a sudden, Todd regains his faculties and starts singing for the last bar and a half (no joke). So we end, and cut to commercial.
Susannah immediately loses it. You have never heard such laughing in your life. She is literally unable to breathe she is laughing so hard.
By the time we get to the lobby, she has huge raccoon eyes from her melting mascara and she has begun to hyperventilate (I swear I am not making this up). So she gets down on her hands and knees and is gasping for air in the lobby of Channel 12.
READY FOR THE ULTIMATE PUNCHLINE???
At this point, who should walk in to the lobby, but the very distinguished (at that time) elder Senator from Oregon, Mark Hatfield. Here is quite possibly the most notable politician in Oregon's history (save for maybe Tom McCall) and Susannah is on the floor with raccoon eyes and gasping breaths.
Senator Hatfield took one look at us and literally clung to the wall as he walked the perimeter of the room to avoid coming too close. He then began urgently pressing the security button to get someone to let him into the studios.
This is one of my favorite all time stories and one we torment Todd with with great regularity.